George Allen Miller One Geek's take on all things SciFi

You have undoubtedly heard of the Apple iPad. If you haven’t, stop reading, you won’t understand any of this. For everyone else, yesterday marked the beginning of the iPad revolution of how people use portable computers. But is it really a game changer? Is iPad to net books and tablets what the Google phone has been to the iPhone? Crazy days I tell ya.

First of all, the good. The iPad is beautiful to look at. It really is. It has access to all of Apple’s App store applications, which is awesome. It’s light, portable and cheap, you can get one for 500 bucks, not bad at all. Apple has added some good apps including iWorks and iBooks, both of them aiming at different competing software and hardware on the market. And last but not least, they are 3G capable, so you can go anywhere with them and have blazing fast speeds. Ahem.

Well that’s all well and good, lets run out and buy it, right? Hold your horses there comrade. Lets take a deeper look at this magical device. First, it’s the iPhone OS, so no flash. Yes, no flash. Excuse me? No flash?!? Love it or hate it, Flash is a big part of the internet. I can’t even look at my Google Analytics with this thing let alone play Flash games and the biggest of all let downs, I can’t watch porn on flash porn sites! WTF?

Next problem, you can’t multitask with it. So, if I want to use Apple’s iWorks and do a bit of research on Wikipedia while I’m writing something, I can’t. I certainly can’t have two apps running at the same time. That seems to me to be a serious let down for what is supposed to be a bridge between netbooks and phones. That was Steve Jobs opening slide, an iPhone on one side and a Macbook on the other with a big question mark in the middle. The iPad goes in the middle. Well, tell me how not being able to do two things at once is anything at all like a netbook? I typically do 10 things at once on the PC, I have poker sites open, two or three FireFox windows open, Chrome, Kindle for the PC, etc etc. You expect me to go down to just one? We’ve been turning ourselves into an ADD species for decades and now I have to revert? No chance.

Another big minus is no camera and no phone. Huh?? How is something that is supposed to be both an iPhone and a Macbook not equipped with a phone, camera or Flash? Epic Fail.

Next, they partnered with AT&T again. Need I say more? Blazing fast 3G? HA!

Apple got something very right with the iPhone. It filled a big need. Adding computer like capability to a portable device. They designed it to have a closed system which has worked well for the iPhone. It has because people don’t expect it to be a computer, they just expect it to be computer like. People tolerate not having flash on their phone because not many people want to browse the web on such a small small screen while sitting in their house. The iPhone OS is meant to be portable. The big issue here is that the iPad is not a portable device.

The iPad is really a game changer. It will change Apple’s success rate of recent years. They have taken the functionality of a netbook, removed it, taken the limitations of the iPhone, expanded them, and put it all together. The iPad is now a big iTouch. That’s it. It is not a functioning computer that you can use and do anything with effectively. By locking it down so much they have made it useless.

Here is what you need a tablet computer to do. Everything a laptop computer can do. Simple isn’t it? The iPad can’t do half of what a laptop can do. It’s way to big to put in the pocket so portability is out of the question. You can’t multitask with it so anything work related is not going to happen. You do have access to the App store and it is a nice screen for browsing the web, but that’s about it. It doesn’t fill any need or niche.

All in all, the iPad will be purchased by people wanting to have a new toy. You won’t see 75 million people buying this. Everyone needs a phone, so everyone bought the coolest one. Not everyone needs a tablet that doesn’t do anything except what Apple says it should do.

One thing is for certain. Google better be paying attention to this. Chrome OS will be about the same as the iPhone OS except no App store. Why do these companies think if you remove functionality that you have a winner? These internet only computers, which is really what the iPad is, are neat in that they are designed to just look at the internet. But frankly, they don’t do anything that my laptop or computer doesn’t already do. They boot in seven seconds you say? Who gives a fuck?!? Turn on your PC, go to the kitchen, get a beer, get back, it’s up.

Oh and the last thing that’s wrong with this thing, the name. iPad? Lame.