Art of aggressiveness in the work place
We’ve all experienced aggressive people at work. Both managers and non-managers can sometimes let themselves get a bit too aggressive. I myself have witnessed it and been guilty of it. When is it too much? Should you not be aggressive at all? I think finding the right balance is, as always, the key.
I was once presented with a task at work which essentially boiled down to record all the email addresses that a certain program has built into it. Simple enough. Unfortunately, I wasn’t the one who set the program up and had to get this information from someone else. OK, I thought, shouldn’t be any big mystery here. And so it wasn’t, I asked the owner of the project how many emails there are and what they are. He responded with 2. Great. Simple. I updated the required documentation and was about to submit it to the proper people. I checked with someone else on another piece of the document and that someone else emphatically declared there were three emails. Now, I know this sounds to be a terribly simple, innocent and small issue. But, when you are being evaluated on the accuracy of a document, it can be a larger issue to management and to you.
This is where my over aggressiveness came in. I loudly, not with hostility, asked how was I to know what fact to believe when multiple sources said different things. I could tell I had pushed a bit too far and in the weeks to follow I noticed an increased unwillingness to assist me. And at times when she did, it was done with disdain. I quickly corrected the situation by being extra nice, comical, accommodating while at the same time not coming across as being too weak or a push over. Eventually tensions eased and I was able to rebuild the working relationship. Which brings me to the other side of this post, when to be aggressive enough.
There are times when being aggressive enough is just as important as not being so aggressive that you seem like an ass. In the work place, you simply can not lay down and let every co-worker walk all over you. In a lot of ways it’s just like the playground when we were kids. There are bullies and those that get bullied. Except, now, the bullying comes from verbal aggression and body posturing and not physically fighting.
When asked questions, you should confidently give the answers. When asked to do something beyond what you think you should be doing, push back! Tell them that you don’t feel this is being done right or isn’t part of your responsibility to accomplish. Of course, be certain it really isn’t part of your responsibility to accomplish. If you don’t push back, and people realize they have a live fish on their hands, they’ll know they can get away with more and will do so again. Others will notice this as well. If you display your self as never being aggressive, never taking charge of a project or task, others will think you just don’t want the responsibility. Maybe you honestly don’t, and if so, you may want to stop reading. For those that do, take the reins. Grab the project, tell your managers you’ll get it done and do it. Don’t wait for someone to give you the chance, not ever.
In my career I’ve also been the passive type. In one position I didn’t take the reins, didn’t push the tasks forward and as a result, I wasn’t even considered for a lead position. It wasn’t that I was considered and refused, it was simply that they didn’t even feel the possibilitywas an option. I realized even if I did a great job, even if I answered every single question, even if I got my tasks done on time, solved every problem, completed every project, if I was re-active and not pro-active, passive vs. aggressive, I simply wouldn’t be considered for higher up positions. Being passive would mean I would be a grunt, front lines type of person and not someone who could direct from on top.
Now, I do want to make a point here. Just because you are passive some of the time, doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. There are times, in some situations, where someone else has authority or the project lead or it’s in another department, that being passive is required. Do not be aggressive on someone else’s playground. A great example is when IT staff intermingle with the Business staff. When these two school yards get together, it’s normally assumed that business wins. IT normally serves the needs of business after all. And some of those guys are just as aggressive and take charge as you can be. In those situations, don’t lay down and be a wet noodle, but also don’t step up your aggression either. When two bulls are in the same room, they’ll more likely fight than play cards.
So, it’s a balancing game. Sometimes you do need to tone down or back off from your aggressive work place stance so people don’t feel you’re a bully. Sometimes you need to step up and channel your aggression into accomplishing the work and show management that you can. And still others, you do need to let yourself be non-aggressive, but not passive, when you’re dealing with upper management or other teams. One thing is for certain, if you master the art of aggression in the work place, you’ll soon find yourself moving up fast.
